Heartfelt

    I hate the fact that when you expect something it doesn't happen, when you go looking for something it doesn't appear.
But the times you're least expecting something, no longer looking for something, that 'thing' happens to you, or you find it.
Like looking for socks in the clothes pile.
When you're desperately looking for them, you can't find anything, but later on as you're looking for the pants this time, you can't find those, but you come across tons of socks.
Why.
It's so frustrating.
What's so bad about it, is the fact that usually the thing you're expecting or looking for, is what really means something to you. Something you want, need. But you don't get that something. Maybe not because you were expecting it, but merely imagining it.
Then the things that don't matter to you as much, do happen. You didn't ever dream of it happening, but it does.
In my usual cases, it's when you like someone. Their smile, their voice, their personality, their ability to make you smile at ridiculous things. And you don't get to have that person. Because you want it. You imagine what it would be like with that person.
Sure maybe in the long run, getting with that person you least expected is great, you end up falling for them. That doesn't make it hurt any less in the present time though.
I think that's why a lot of people never admit to themselves that they like someone. They don't want the obvious truth to come to plate. They don't want to hope, dream, imagine, just for their wishes to be crushed by the unexpected.
In my book, everything happens for a reason. At that moment, it feels as though no reasoning could make it better. Who cares that all this is happening so something greater will come out of it 5 years from now?
Grasp the good times, the memories by the collar and hold on to them. You never know when the unimaginable will swing along and send those good feelings crashing to the floor. It doesn't hurt to grab the bull by the horns and take charge yourself, make what you hope and dream for become true. Maybe it's just that deep down you knew it wouldn't work out, so unexpectedly, it did.