One day you get to that moment where you realize if you truly want something, you gotta go for it. You honestly have to work your ass off and achieve what you wish. If not, you get nothing, you fail without even trying.
But actually getting the momentum and drive to work for what you want is a hard first step. It's hard figuring out what to do first in order to succeed. The only thing I can say is, take a leap and try something, anything. If that thing fails, move on to something else. But remember to not give up searching for possibilities until you 100 % have absolutely no other choice.
I promise something good will come of you breaking your back getting what you wish for.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
I'm That Girl
I'm that girl that goes to school or out in public and has a smile on her face. I am nice to everyone, I talk to people, I'm friendly. I laugh at jokes with my friends and I'm super carefree. I help people with their problems. I act like nothing is going on even when something is. All in all, I'm happy and smiles in public, most of the time it is carefree, yes.
But then I get home. I get home and I'm stressed. Of course, a lot of the time I'm talking with my family and laughing at something cute my nephew does. But there's also a lot of time spent with a frown on my face. My problem is that I think too much. So I'll be sitting there, stressed out, and all these thoughts are running through my mind. Eventually it all becomes too much to take.
Because I bottle up all my emotions and rarely let anyone see what I'm truly feeling, all that stuff that becomes too much just gets to me. It ends up making me break down-literally. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I bawl. Sometimes I just become emotionless and monotone.
No one knows that though. Of course my family knows somethings up, but they either don't question it, or I tell them I'm fine.
People at school have no idea. They think I have the perfect life, perfect parents, but that's not true.
I just need that one person that I can talk to, that will realize I'm upset and and ask me about it. And genuinely listen.
Now I know I can be quite over dramatic about this stuff, but it's all true, it's all serious.
And it's all someday going to rip me apart until I'm a black hole of nothingness and I'm going to trust no one, open up to no one. It already seems that way now though.
All because I'm that girl.
But then I get home. I get home and I'm stressed. Of course, a lot of the time I'm talking with my family and laughing at something cute my nephew does. But there's also a lot of time spent with a frown on my face. My problem is that I think too much. So I'll be sitting there, stressed out, and all these thoughts are running through my mind. Eventually it all becomes too much to take.
Because I bottle up all my emotions and rarely let anyone see what I'm truly feeling, all that stuff that becomes too much just gets to me. It ends up making me break down-literally. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I bawl. Sometimes I just become emotionless and monotone.
No one knows that though. Of course my family knows somethings up, but they either don't question it, or I tell them I'm fine.
People at school have no idea. They think I have the perfect life, perfect parents, but that's not true.
I just need that one person that I can talk to, that will realize I'm upset and and ask me about it. And genuinely listen.
Now I know I can be quite over dramatic about this stuff, but it's all true, it's all serious.
And it's all someday going to rip me apart until I'm a black hole of nothingness and I'm going to trust no one, open up to no one. It already seems that way now though.
All because I'm that girl.
Sunday, September 1, 2013
I act mean and tough on the outside because I’ve been hurt so many times and I don’t want to be hurt again. So I pretend to be this way so no one will mess with me and I can ‘stand up for myself.’ But in reality, I go home and cry over guys and music. I go home and play with my 2 year old nephew. I see an elderly person sitting alone and feel like crying. I smile at random people at the store. I tell my family I love them numerous times a day and every night before bed because I’m terrified of something happening and me not being able to say it again. I watch a inspirational video and bawl my eyes out. I think of things that happened in the past at night and get sad. I see someone who is lonely or nervous, fiddling with their finger and I feel like crying and hugging them. I am such a genuine, nice, warm hearted person on the inside, but I feel like I can’t show that because if I do I might get hurt again.
I want people to see the real me.
Sunday Funday
Hiiiiiiii guysssss :) So I realize it's quite easy for people to get bored and if you're like me and socially awkward, the internet is your only way of entertainment. So I put together 5 sites that you can go on to have fun or play games. Enjoyyy :)
1. Friv:
Friv is a small game site that has numerous small online games that are anywhere from beauty&makeovers to action&racing. I, myself have used this website alot to play games when I'm bored.
2. Addicting Games:
This isn't exactly the greatest of all gaming sites, but there are still some pretty cool things to play.
3. Miniclip:
Miniclip was one of my favorite websites as a kid. I think a lot of people have heard of it, but if not go check it out there are tons of varieties of games to play.
4. Tumblr:
I'm pretty sure most everybody has heard of this, it's another sort of 'blogging' site, although a lot of people use it in other ways as well, for fandoms, to talk to friends, post things, etc. Once you get the hang of it and really get involved, Tumblr is a cool site to be a part of, but I must warn you, it's easy to get obsessed.
5. Twitter:
Again, I'm sure everyone has heard of this as well and while it's not a gaming site, it's quite enjoyable to use. Get on there, follow people, look up your fav celebs, talk to other fans, and I'm sure you can pass the time.
So there you go ! A short list of websites you can go on to keep yourself from dying of boredom.
Friday, August 30, 2013
Funny Friday
Enjoy a collection of funny pictures, gifs, vines, etc that I've found on the internet :)
http://31.media.tumblr.com/718e3c85ed1e7ec4e99cfddd8c43fb4e/tumblr_ms5opkvyjf1qzwh14o1_500.gif
http://24.media.tumblr.com/c6d3e02cce75ad64dffb6cecb74c4c4a/tumblr_mjey8dLttr1qcupmyo3_250.gif
http://24.media.tumblr.com/1c7ebb4f15a2cf4daca2f9c8de67f1f8/tumblr_mjey8dLttr1qcupmyo8_250.gif
http://31.media.tumblr.com/718e3c85ed1e7ec4e99cfddd8c43fb4e/tumblr_ms5opkvyjf1qzwh14o1_500.gif
http://24.media.tumblr.com/c6d3e02cce75ad64dffb6cecb74c4c4a/tumblr_mjey8dLttr1qcupmyo3_250.gif
http://24.media.tumblr.com/1c7ebb4f15a2cf4daca2f9c8de67f1f8/tumblr_mjey8dLttr1qcupmyo8_250.gif
Boys
Boys boys boys.
They're all you think about when you get to be a certain age. And it sucks royally.
You think they're all so great and cute and you can't live without them. Then you get to be an even older age and you realize that's not completely true. Boys aren't all as they seem.
It's so hard to really know what is on their minds. So you end up spending so much time over thinking everything,
"He smiled at me, does that mean he likes me?!"
"It's been a minute already and he hasn't replied to my text. Oh my gosh he thinks I'm annoying."
"I wonder if he thinks about me at night when he can't sleep, probably not."
And it's all just shit crowding your brain making you upset for the stupidest reasons,
making you get your hopes up for the stupidest reasons,
convincing yourself to believe something that's not even true for the stupidest reasons...
Which brings up the cold, honest truth. Boys suck half the time.
Now I'm not saying all boys are like that, you just have to find the one that is a shiny red apple in a tree of rotten ones.
If you're having any sort of trouble with boys,
worrying about what one thinks of you,
thinking about the one you like 24/7,
over thinking every small detail,
getting your heart broken because he wasn't as he seemed,
whatever the case, I have one thing to say.
Don't worry about it. He's not worth it.
Focus on something more important in your life and take a break from boys. Focus on your music, your education, your friends, your family, and don't worry about 'him.' Because in most cases, you get close to someone when you least expect it.
If you ask yourself, 'Why can't it be my time to have someone yet? Why don't I have to love me yet,' then just remember, God is saving you for someone special. Everything happens for a reason, and if it didn't work out with the guy you like, then it happened so you could be with someone much better.
Oh by the way,
Pick your head up Princess, your tiara is falling.
They're all you think about when you get to be a certain age. And it sucks royally.
You think they're all so great and cute and you can't live without them. Then you get to be an even older age and you realize that's not completely true. Boys aren't all as they seem.
It's so hard to really know what is on their minds. So you end up spending so much time over thinking everything,
"He smiled at me, does that mean he likes me?!"
"It's been a minute already and he hasn't replied to my text. Oh my gosh he thinks I'm annoying."
"I wonder if he thinks about me at night when he can't sleep, probably not."
And it's all just shit crowding your brain making you upset for the stupidest reasons,
making you get your hopes up for the stupidest reasons,
convincing yourself to believe something that's not even true for the stupidest reasons...
Which brings up the cold, honest truth. Boys suck half the time.
Now I'm not saying all boys are like that, you just have to find the one that is a shiny red apple in a tree of rotten ones.
If you're having any sort of trouble with boys,
worrying about what one thinks of you,
thinking about the one you like 24/7,
over thinking every small detail,
getting your heart broken because he wasn't as he seemed,
whatever the case, I have one thing to say.
Don't worry about it. He's not worth it.
Focus on something more important in your life and take a break from boys. Focus on your music, your education, your friends, your family, and don't worry about 'him.' Because in most cases, you get close to someone when you least expect it.
If you ask yourself, 'Why can't it be my time to have someone yet? Why don't I have to love me yet,' then just remember, God is saving you for someone special. Everything happens for a reason, and if it didn't work out with the guy you like, then it happened so you could be with someone much better.
Oh by the way,
Pick your head up Princess, your tiara is falling.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Heartfelt
I hate the fact that when you expect something it doesn't happen, when you go looking for something it doesn't appear.
But the times you're least expecting something, no longer looking for something, that 'thing' happens to you, or you find it.
Like looking for socks in the clothes pile.
When you're desperately looking for them, you can't find anything, but later on as you're looking for the pants this time, you can't find those, but you come across tons of socks.
Why.
It's so frustrating.
What's so bad about it, is the fact that usually the thing you're expecting or looking for, is what really means something to you. Something you want, need. But you don't get that something. Maybe not because you were expecting it, but merely imagining it.
Then the things that don't matter to you as much, do happen. You didn't ever dream of it happening, but it does.
In my usual cases, it's when you like someone. Their smile, their voice, their personality, their ability to make you smile at ridiculous things. And you don't get to have that person. Because you want it. You imagine what it would be like with that person.
Sure maybe in the long run, getting with that person you least expected is great, you end up falling for them. That doesn't make it hurt any less in the present time though.
I think that's why a lot of people never admit to themselves that they like someone. They don't want the obvious truth to come to plate. They don't want to hope, dream, imagine, just for their wishes to be crushed by the unexpected.
In my book, everything happens for a reason. At that moment, it feels as though no reasoning could make it better. Who cares that all this is happening so something greater will come out of it 5 years from now?
Grasp the good times, the memories by the collar and hold on to them. You never know when the unimaginable will swing along and send those good feelings crashing to the floor. It doesn't hurt to grab the bull by the horns and take charge yourself, make what you hope and dream for become true. Maybe it's just that deep down you knew it wouldn't work out, so unexpectedly, it did.
But the times you're least expecting something, no longer looking for something, that 'thing' happens to you, or you find it.
Like looking for socks in the clothes pile.
When you're desperately looking for them, you can't find anything, but later on as you're looking for the pants this time, you can't find those, but you come across tons of socks.
Why.
It's so frustrating.
What's so bad about it, is the fact that usually the thing you're expecting or looking for, is what really means something to you. Something you want, need. But you don't get that something. Maybe not because you were expecting it, but merely imagining it.
Then the things that don't matter to you as much, do happen. You didn't ever dream of it happening, but it does.
In my usual cases, it's when you like someone. Their smile, their voice, their personality, their ability to make you smile at ridiculous things. And you don't get to have that person. Because you want it. You imagine what it would be like with that person.
Sure maybe in the long run, getting with that person you least expected is great, you end up falling for them. That doesn't make it hurt any less in the present time though.
I think that's why a lot of people never admit to themselves that they like someone. They don't want the obvious truth to come to plate. They don't want to hope, dream, imagine, just for their wishes to be crushed by the unexpected.
In my book, everything happens for a reason. At that moment, it feels as though no reasoning could make it better. Who cares that all this is happening so something greater will come out of it 5 years from now?
Grasp the good times, the memories by the collar and hold on to them. You never know when the unimaginable will swing along and send those good feelings crashing to the floor. It doesn't hurt to grab the bull by the horns and take charge yourself, make what you hope and dream for become true. Maybe it's just that deep down you knew it wouldn't work out, so unexpectedly, it did.
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