I act mean and tough on the outside because I’ve been hurt so many times and I don’t want to be hurt again. So I pretend to be this way so no one will mess with me and I can ‘stand up for myself.’ But in reality, I go home and cry over guys and music. I go home and play with my 2 year old nephew. I see an elderly person sitting alone and feel like crying. I smile at random people at the store. I tell my family I love them numerous times a day and every night before bed because I’m terrified of something happening and me not being able to say it again. I watch a inspirational video and bawl my eyes out. I think of things that happened in the past at night and get sad. I see someone who is lonely or nervous, fiddling with their finger and I feel like crying and hugging them. I am such a genuine, nice, warm hearted person on the inside, but I feel like I can’t show that because if I do I might get hurt again. 

I want people to see the real me.